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A Passionate Affair
Anne Mather
Mills & Boon are excited to present The Anne Mather Collection – the complete works by this classic author made available to download for the very first time! These books span six decades of a phenomenal writing career, and every story is available to read unedited and untouched from their original release. Whirlwind wife…Cassandra has sworn off men – for good! Her failed marriage brought her nothing but pain, and she won’t set herself up for heartache again. But when she meets handsome Jay Ravek, she can’t help but surrender to their fiery passion body and soul…In no time at all, Cassandra finds herself married to Jay! But her wounded heart is still fragile, and when his behaviour becomes increasingly secretive, Cassandra begins to wonder - can she trust this man she knows so little about…? Have they married too quickly?!
Mills & Boon is proud to present a fabulous
collection of fantastic novels by
bestselling, much loved author
ANNE MATHER
Anne has a stellar record of achievement within the
publishing industry, having written over one hundred
and sixty books, with worldwide sales of more than
forty-eight MILLION copies in multiple languages.
This amazing collection of classic stories offers a chance
for readers to recapture the pleasure Anne’s powerful,
passionate writing has given.
We are sure you will love them all!
I’ve always wanted to write—which is not to say I’ve always wanted to be a professional writer. On the contrary, for years I only wrote for my own pleasure and it wasn’t until my husband suggested sending one of my stories to a publisher that we put several publishers’ names into a hat and pulled one out. The rest, as they say, is history. And now, one hundred and sixty-two books later, I’m literally—excuse the pun— staggered by what’s happened.
I had written all through my infant and junior years and on into my teens, the stories changing from children’s adventures to torrid gypsy passions. My mother used to gather these manuscripts up from time to time, when my bedroom became too untidy, and dispose of them! In those days, I used not to finish any of the stories and Caroline, my first published novel, was the first I’d ever completed. I was newly married then and my daughter was just a baby, and it was quite a job juggling my household chores and scribbling away in exercise books every chance I got. Not very professional, as you can imagine, but that’s the way it was.
These days, I have a bit more time to devote to my work, but that first love of writing has never changed. I can’t imagine not having a current book on the typewriter—yes, it’s my husband who transcribes everything on to the computer. He’s my partner in both life and work and I depend on his good sense more than I care to admit.
We have two grown-up children, a son and a daughter, and two almost grown-up grandchildren, Abi and Ben. My e-mail address is mystic-am@msn.com (mailto:mystic-am@msn.com) and I’d be happy to hear from any of my wonderful readers.
A Passionate Affair
Anne Mather
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Cover (#u2657972f-cba1-56fb-8a95-e6284207cdf5)
About the Author (#u6079bb34-0468-5135-b12b-492d4d08c06f)
Title Page (#u2d10cf4f-0232-53db-89d4-8401591863f8)
CHAPTER ONE (#u4c5340d3-45c7-5aa6-b3a5-f37eb6a96ba2)
CHAPTER TWO (#ud0634c9c-d215-5901-946b-c1302e64472d)
CHAPTER THREE (#ufb4f1a76-f8ff-5cf4-ad17-77d2ce03f372)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_9367c810-7f7e-5762-9ba3-501f98bbe43f)
�WHO did you say that man was?’
Cassandra tried not to give her words emphasis, but Liz was too highly attuned to the inflections in her tone to be deceived for long.
�What man?’ she asked, turning a rather bemused face from her contemplation of the large square canvas in front of her, and Cassandra signalled with her eyes, the object of her enquiry evident. �Oh—you mean Jay Ravek!’ Liz’s mouth assumed a sardonic twist. �Darling, don’t think of it. Don’t even consider it. He’s far too uncivilised for you.’
�Uncivilised?’ Discretion gave way to mild incredulity, as Cassandra allowed her gaze to rest briefly on the tall dark man presently in conversation with Damon Stafford, near the entrance to the gallery. She shrugged. �He looks highly civilised to me.’
�Don’t they always?’ Liz adopted a thoughtful pose. �I mean,’ she went on, �who would think, looking at a tiger, looking at its lean symmetry, at its grace and beauty, that it was the most unscrupulous predator ever created?’
Cassandra sighed. �All right, Liz, you’ve made your point—about tigers, anyway. But just because you may be strongly into cats at the moment, that has no bearing on my question about Jay Ravek.’
�Oh, but it does.’ Liz’s long-nailed fingers curved about her arm. �Cass, my love, I know what you’ve said, and believe me, I can guess how you feel. But getting involved with a man like Jay Ravek—–’
�Who said anything about getting involved?’ Cassandra’s brows arched impatiently. �Liz, you must stop treating me like a china doll! I’m not. I never have been. If I were, Mike would have broken me long ago.’
Liz studied her friend’s face with genuine concern. �But you’re not denying that Mike has left you with a—how shall I say it?—a chip on your shoulder, hasn’t he?’ She paused. �Not all men are like Mike, Cass. Remember that.’
�I do remember it.’ Cassandra felt vaguely indignant that Liz should feel it necessary to speak to her in this way. �Look—if I’d let Mike poison my mind, I wouldn’t be interested in any other man, would I?’
�No.’ Liz conceded that point. �But I just don’t want you to get hurt again, that’s all. And—well, Jay Ravek has quite a reputation for hurting people, women particularly.’
Cassandra expelled her breath quickly. �Liz, I only asked who the man was. I didn’t say I was going to climb into bed with him!’
Liz bowed her head. �All right, all right, I’m sorry!’ Her hand fell to her side. �But pick someone else to re-sharpen your claws on. Jay Ravek is not in your league.’
Cassandra wanted to protest that she was not the innocent Liz thought she was, but she doubted her friend would believe her. All Liz knew was that she had had one bad marriage, and the deeper implications of that statement had never been discussed between them. Liz had been too discreet to ask and Cassandra had felt too raw to tell her immediately after Mike’s death, and now, nine months later, the subject was too difficult to broach.
�So—–’ Liz changed the subject. �What do you think of Stafford’s work? I must admit I don’t really understand it, but he’s had such wonderful reviews it must be good.’
�Not necessarily.’ Cassandra was still brooding over their earlier conversation. �Just because it’s received critical acclaim, it doesn’t mean it’s unequivocally good.’ She grimaced. �I think it’s ghastly, quite honestly. All those heads appearing from nowhere—it’s positively gruesome!’
�That’s what I like, an honest opinion.’
The two girls started with equal degrees of disconcertment, but Cassandra’s confusion was compounded of embarrassment and a certain amount of apprehension. Damon Stafford was standing right behind them, his arms folded across his chest, his bearded face alight with amusement, and right beside him stood Jay Ravek.
�Oh—Damon!’ Liz recovered her composure with immaculate ease, her wide mouth spreading in an apologetic smile. �You know what they say about eavesdroppers, don’t you, darling? And Cass was only being bitchy, weren’t you, love?’
Cassandra’s fingers clutched her bag more tightly. �I’m afraid I know nothing about modern art, Mr Stafford,’ she offered, intensely conscious of Jay Ravek’s dark eyes upon her. �You must forgive me if you think I was rude. Naturally my opinion is of no importance.’
�On the contrary, Miss—er—–’
�Mrs,’ Cassandra corrected him formally. �Roland.’
�Well, Mrs Roland,’ Damon Stafford smiled, �anyone will tell you, I’m always interested in the opinion of a beautiful woman.’
Cassandra blushed, she couldn’t help it, and Liz uttered a relieved laugh. �Very nicely put, Damon,’ she complimented him drily. �You really shouldn’t put people on the spot like that. It’s not nice.’
�Oh, I’m sure Mrs Roland will forgive me.’ Damon glanced sideways at the man beside him, as if for confirmation, and then, turning back to Cassandra, he said: �Let me offer you some more champagne, Mrs Roland. Your glass appears to be empty.’
�Thank you, but no.’ Cassandra covered the rim of her glass with her palm as Damon turned to summon one of the white-coated attendants circulating among the guests at the reception. �We—er—we were just leaving, weren’t we, Liz? I for one have to get back to work.’
�What is your work, Mrs Roland?’
It was Jay Ravek who had spoken, and Cassandra’s tongue appeared, to moisten her upper lip as she was obliged to answer his question. �I’m an interior designer, Mr Ravek.’
It was not until after she had finished speaking that she realised she had used his name without thinking. The faint quirk of his mouth might have indicated his observance of that fact, but if he had been about to make a comment, Liz forestalled her.
�And she’s very good at it, too,’ she declared, giving Cassandra a knowing smile that the other girl found quite annoying. �She only started the business six months ago, and already she’s gaining quite a reputation.’
�Really?’ Damon sounded impressed, but Cassandra wanted to die of embarrassment.
�It’s a very small business really,’ she insisted, giving Liz a quelling look, but her friend just arched her brows at her and was obviously unrepentant.
�Perhaps I could contact you about my apartment,’ remarked Damon, pulling a notebook out of his pocket. �What did you say the name was? Roland? I’ll make a note of that.’
�It’s Ro-Allen, actually,’ Liz inserted, looking over his shoulder. �Ro-Allen Interiors. Chris Allen is Cass’s partner. He has a brilliant eye for colour.’
�Liz!’
Cassandra was furious, but Liz only shrugged her shoulders. �Contacts, darling—that’s what it’s all about. Don’t you agree, Mr Ravek? In your work, you must find I’m right.’
�If you say so, Miss Lester.’ Jay Ravek’s lean face was sardonic. �However, we don’t all have your opportunities for contacting the right people.’
Liz’s rather pointed features seemed to sharpen, but she bit her tongue on what she would obviously have liked to retort, and took Cassandra’s arm. �Time to go, darling,’ she declared pleasantly. �We mustn’t outstay our welcome.’
�You couldn’t do that,’ Damon replied gallantly. �I’ll look forward to reading your comments. Oh—–’ he glanced at the man beside him again, �—and don’t be too hard on Jay, will you? You columnists have given him a pretty raw deal, one way and another.’
�Perhaps it’s nothing more than he deserves,’ observed Liz with a tight smile. �Goodbye, Damon. Thanks for the champagne. It was delightful!’
The Seely Gallery occupied the upper floor of a building in South Molton Street, and the two girls emerged from the shadowy stairwell into the watery sunshine of a November afternoon. It wasn’t particularly cold, but it was damp, and Cassandra thrust her hands into the pockets of her suede coat and hunched her shoulders in a momentary shiver.
�Bastard!’ said Liz, with unexpected fervour, and Cassandra gazed at her in surprise.
�Who?’ she exclaimed, although she could guess. �Jay Ravek? Why? What did he say to upset you?’
�It isn’t what he says, it’s what he doesn’t say,’ declared Liz venomously. �Arrogant swine! Making insinuations about my friends, about my family—–’
�Did he do that?’ Cassandra shook her head. �You really don’t like him, do you?’ She paused. �What does he do anyway?’
Liz stared at her disbelievingly. �You must have heard of him!’
�No, I haven’t.’
�But I assumed you’d recognised his name.’ Liz sighed. �He’s quite famous—or notorious, whatever way you look at it. He writes for the Post. He’s one of their correspondents, generally overseas—when he’s not in London, making it with every rich bird in town!’
Cassandra’s wide forehead furrowed. �Oh—yes, I seem to remember reading something about him.’
�You would,’ agreed Liz grimly. �I told you, he’s bad news. So don’t go getting any ideas about him, because believe me, you’d regret it.’
Cassandra felt a recurring twinge of resentment. �Liz, I am over twenty-one. And I was married for five years. I know how to look after myself.’
�Mike Roland was a choirboy compared to Jay Ravek,’ Liz retorted, turning up the collar of her fur jacket. �Take my word for it, kid. You don’t need another bad experience.’
Walking back to the studio in a mews off Great Portland Street, Cassandra had plenty of time to mull over the things Liz had said. She meant well, Cassandra supposed, but the ten years’ seniority Liz possessed always gave her the edge. They had known one another for more than seven years. They had met at an exhibition just like this one. But Cassandra couldn’t help wishing Liz would not always treat her as if she was incapable of handling her own life. She had made mistakes, of course, and her disastrous marriage to Mike Roland was still uppermost in her mind. But Mike was dead now, after all the heartache it had caused her, that period of her life was over and she badly wanted to forget it. Liz’s frequent references to her marriage prevented her from doing so, continually reminding her of her declared determination not to be fooled again. What Liz didn’t appear to understand was that just because she had had a bad time with Mike, and had no desire to repeat the experience, it did not mean she could not find the opposite sex attractive. She did. Or at least, some members of it. And Jay Ravek was certainly a very attractive member . . .
She found Chris Allen hunched over his drawing board when she entered the offices of Ro-Allen Interiors some fifteen minutes later. The air was thick with tobacco smoke and the inevitable cigarette drooped from the corner of his mouth. Cassandra breathed a sigh of protest and marched to the windows, flinging them wide despite the chilling afternoon air, and her partner turned to her resignedly, pressing the stub of the cigarette out in the dish already overflowing beside him.
�You’ll kill yourself with those filthy things!’ exclaimed Cassandra, taking off her coat and hanging it on one of a row of hooks screwed to the wall behind her desk.
�It’s my life,’ observed Chris laconically, sliding off his stool. �We can’t all be invited to champagne receptions, hobnobbing with the crème de la crème! Besides,’ he fumbled in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, placing a fresh one between his lips, �they help me to concentrate, and right now, I need some inspiration.’
Cassandra, seated at her desk, looked up at the young man before her with grudging affection. She knew how hard he was working to make the business a success, and Liz had not been joking when she said he had a brilliant eye for colour. If Cassandra’s abilities lay in looking at a room and being able to judge its potentialities, Chris’s talent was for colouring her work, giving it life and beauty. His was the skill that combined furniture with fabric, and substantiated her spartan drawings with light and detail. At twenty-five, he was precisely ten months older than she was, and their association came from way back, when Cassandra, like him, was a student at the London School of Textile Design. Those were the days before Mike Roland came into her life, when she had still been uncertain of what she really wanted to do. At least her marriage to Mike had taught her that that kind of one-to-one relationship was not what she wanted, and although she would not have wished him dead, her freedom seemed particularly precious to her now.
�So—–’ Chris flicked his lighter and applied it to the end of his cigarette. �Was there anybody interesting at the reception? What did you think of Stafford’s work?’
Cassandra chose to answer his second question first. �Quite frankly, I thought his paintings were horrible,’ she admitted candidly. �I didn’t like them, and I certainly didn’t understand them.’
�Shades of Hieronymus Bosch,’ remarked Chris drily, putting his lighter away, and at her look of incomprehension, he added: �He was a Dutch painter of the fifteenth or sixteenth century, I’m not sure which. But his work was very pessimistic, and I’ve heard it said that Stafford’s is the same.’
Cassandra’s lips twitched. �You’re very well informed.’
�Not really.’ Chris made a deprecatory gesture. �He had a marvellous use of colour, which I admire, and which no one else has successfully been able to imitate. And besides,’ he shrugged irrepressively, �I watched a programme about him on television, a couple of nights ago.’
Cassandra made a face and flung a pencil at him as Chris ducked back to his drawing board. He laughed and resumed his seat, and leaving her own, Cassandra came to look over his shoulder.
�Hey, that’s good!’ she exclaimed, pulling her spectacles out of their case and sliding them on to her nose so that she could look more closely. She had discovered she was long-sighted only two months before, when after a series of headaches she had sought professional advice. In consequence, she now wore wide hornrims when she was working, and their size gave an added charm to her pale oval features.
Chris glanced sideways at her, his blue eyes alight with enthusiasm. �Do you think so?’ he asked. �Do you really think so? You don’t think I’ve gone over the top with all this dark oak and heavy wallpaper?’
�Of course not.’ Cassandra straightened, smiling down into his lean good-looking features. �Chris, they told us what they wanted. They want us to restore the house’s original character. They want oak panelling and figured damask. They want velvet curtains and leather-bound books in the library.’ She shook her head. �I don’t suppose it really matters what the books are. You could put The Decameron up there, and they’d never notice. But,’ she grimaced, �so long as they’re happy, and they’re prepared to pay for it—who are we to object?’
Chris pulled thoughtfully at his nose, a habit he had when he was worried, and then looked doubtfully up at her. �Is that really how you feel?’ he asked, with sudden gravity, and she turned away and walked back to her desk, as if she needed to consider her response.
�No,’ she conceded at last, perching on the edge of her desk and chewing at the earpiece of the spectacles she had removed from her nose. �But, Chris,’ she sighed, �we can only offer advice. If people refuse to take it . . .’
�I don’t like these kind of jobs,’ declared Chris flatly. �I prefer it when we’re given a free hand to use the ability that they’re paying for!’
�Well, so do I,’ exclaimed Cassandra impatiently. �But we’re not in business to create works of art, Chris. And every now and then we have to take a job we don’t like.’
Chris hunched his shoulders. �Well, why the hell did the Steiners employ a firm of interior designers, if they already knew what they wanted? Why didn’t they just contract the job out to some painting and decorating company, who’d do a perfectly competent job—–’
�Chris, you know why. The Steiners like the idea of—–’
�—using our name, I know.’
�Not just that.’ Cassandra was honest. �Any firm of interior designers would do just as well. Only—oh, I suppose they thought we might be more amenable.’
�Because we’re just establishing ourselves,’ said Chris drily, and Cassandra nodded.
�I guess so. Anyway, Liz said—–’
�Liz!’ Chris made a sound of derision. �Just tell Liz from me we’ll get our own commissions from now on, will you?’
�Mmm.’
Cassandra’s thoughtful response was almost inaudible as she slid off the desk and walked round it to resume her seat. Chris’s indignation had struck a slightly distasteful chord in her memory, and she would have preferred not to remember Liz’s canvassing of her talents that afternoon. As well as rekindling her embarrassment, it brought Jay Ravek’s face too acutely to mind, and her own reactions to his dark intelligent features. She had found him attractive, but then what woman wouldn’t? He was tall, but not too tall; lean, but not skinny; and although he was not strictly handsome he possessed the kind of personal magnetism one could only describe as sex appeal. His eyes were almost black and deep-set, accentuating the heavy lids with their short thick lashes. His nose was straight between high cheek-bones, and his mouth with its thin upper lip and fuller lower one could look both cruel and sensuous.
Cassandra expelled her breath suddenly and pushed her spectacles back on to her nose. He had certainly made an impression, she thought, with a wry grimace. Liz would be horrified if she ever found out just how attractive Cassandra had found him, and her mother-hen qualities would be fully aroused at what she would see as the evidence of Cassandra’s vulnerability.
But it wasn’t true, Cassandra thought impatiently. Since Mike’s death she had met plenty of attractive men, not least Chris himself, who, despite his married state, had made it plain that he still found her as attractive as ever. If she had waited before committing herself to any further emotional entanglements, it was not because she was scared of getting hurt again. On the contrary, she doubted there was a man alive who could hurt her now. Her marriage to Mike had been a disaster, but it had also taught her more about relationships than any other experience could have done. She had entered into that marriage innocently, optimistically, eagerly—and within six months she had been shocked, bruised and disillusioned. Her immature expectations of what a marriage should be had been shattered by the kind of experiences she would have preferred to forget. Mike should never have got married. He liked the company of women far too much; and not just one woman, but many. Later, in her more cynical moments, Cassandra had wondered whether his constant search for satisfaction with women stemmed from his own inability to give satisfaction, and she had been grateful then for his accusations of her frigidity, which meant she was not obliged to suffer his attentions too often. She did not believe she was frigid, however. She had a perfectly normal interest in the opposite sex. If she had never truly enjoyed the act of love, that was not so unusual. She had friends with husbands and families who had confessed to a similar deficiency, which, she consoled herself, occurred most frequently with girls of a greater sensitivity. Her experiences were of the mind, rather than the body, she was convinced, and as she enjoyed kissing and caressing and the preliminaries of loveplay, she was unconcerned that so far as Freud was concerned she was unaroused.
It was seven o’clock before she left the office. Chris departed around six, and after he had gone, Cassandra abandoned her ideas for an office complex they had been invited to tender for, and gave herself up to the troublesome study of their accounts. Really, she thought, they would soon have to employ an accountant to keep the books in order. What with income tax returns and V.A.T. there seemed an inordinate amount of book-keeping to be done, and although the business was still in its embryo stages, someone had to ensure that they did not overreach themselves. At the moment, they had a good working relationship with a firm of interior decorators, who performed the function of translating hers and Chris’s designs into a tangible reality. But eventually Cassandra hoped to employ their own painters and plumbers and carpenters, and accomplish every project themselves, thus ruling out the necessity to rely on contracted labour.
When she finally put down her pen and switched off the pocket calculator, Cassandra’s head was buzzing with figures. She supposed that sooner or later she would get used to owing money that she herself was owed, but right now it seemed a terrifying deficit, and she massaged her temples wearily as she got up from her desk.
The studio-cum-office was situated over a pair of garages, which had once provided stabling for the horses of a bygone carriage era. Their entrance was via an iron staircase that ran up the side of the building, and after locking the door, Cassandra descended the stairs with a feeling of intense relief. It had been a long day, and she was tired, and she looked forward eagerly to putting her feet up on the couch and enjoying a T.V. dinner.
Her small Alfasud was parked in the mews, and she crossed the cobbled forecourt quickly and inserted her key in the lock. Chandler Mews was only dimly lit, and it had crossed her mind on several occasions that it was an ideal spot for muggers. But so far she had encountered no one but a stray cat, that even so had given her a nasty scare.
It was cold inside the car, but the engine fired without a hiccough, and she drove it smoothly out into Great Portland Street. At this hour of the evening, the traffic was not hectic, and she turned right towards Tottenham Court Road, and her flat near Russell Square.
She was lucky to have a flat so near to the office, and she never failed to feel grateful for Mike’s insurance, which had afforded her enough money to lease the flat and the studio, and provided the capital necessary to start the business. She had not wanted to take the money in the beginning. She had not felt she deserved it. But Mike’s mother had been adamant, and with her encouragement she had learned to appreciate her independence. She sometimes wondered whether Mrs Roland’s insistence that the money was hers and that she should take it without obligation stemmed from her own experiences with Mike’s father. Certainly, the elder Mr Roland had had little consideration for his wife, spending most of his time at the racetrack or on the golf course, and latterly, after his son’s involvement in racing, at the Formula One meetings. Unfortuately, he had died before Mike achieved any real success, and his winning of the French Grand Prix was overshadowed by his father’s death.
They were both widowed now, and it was through Mrs Roland that Cassandra had found her flat. Mike’s mother lived in an apartment in the same building, and while some of her friends had advised her not to live so closely with her in-laws, Cassandra had had no hesitation about accepting. She had never known her own mother and father. They had died when she was only a child, and she had been brought up by her mother’s cousin, a spinster lady with no aspirations to motherhood. Still, Aunt Esme, as she had preferred to be called, had done her best to give the girl a good home, and if it had been lacking in affection, it had at least given Cassandra her interest in art and design. Aunt Esme taught history at a girls’ school in Richmond, but in her spare time she devoured the art galleries, spending hours at the National Gallery or the Tate, reading avidly about painters and sculptors, their lives and their masterpieces, and the influences that coloured their work. It was during the course of these expeditions that Cassandra began to take notice of colour and texture, began to distinguish between the brush-strokes of a master and the amateurish offerings she produced. She learned that there was more to being an artist than the desire to set down on paper or canvas some face full of character, or a colourful London street scene. Her talent lay not in reproducing fine detail but in creating it, in blending together the imaginative with the functional to effect a design, both pleasing and practical. She was not an artist, she was a designer, using other people’s art to good advantage, and without Mike’s intervention in her life she might well have become a teacher, like Aunt Esme. As it was, she had given up her studies to marry Mike, and Aunt Esme had died before she achieved her ambition to have a studio of her own.
But Mike’s mother had nurtured that ambition. From the beginning she had encouraged Cassandra to think for herself, and since Mike’s death they had grown so much closer. It was strange, when there was no blood relationship between them, but Mrs Roland came much closer to being the mother she had never had than did Aunt Esme, and Cassandra had never regretted taking the flat which kept them in such close proximity.
Leaving her car in the basement garage, Cassandra took the lift up to the fourth floor with a sense of weariness out of all proportion to the day she had spent. It had seemed such an exhausting day somehow, and at the back of her mind was the suspicion that Jay Ravek had something to do with it. But that was ridiculous, she thought impatiently. She hardly knew the man. They had only exchanged the briefest of words. And yet she knew a nagging sense of disappointment that she would not be seeing him again. That was what was depressing her. He was the first man since Mike she might seriously consider having an affair with, and Liz had made that practically impossible by her vitriolic attitude. If she had not known better, she would have suspected Liz’s behaviour to be that of a jealous female, but that could not be so. Liz was a beautiful woman. She was never short of escorts. And if Jay Ravek was as dissolute as Liz said he was, he would obviously have been unable to resist the temptation.
Her flat was not large, consisting simply of a bedroom, a bathroom, a living-room and a kitchen. But it was the first real home of her own she had had, and Cassandra coveted the independence it proclaimed. It was not opulently furnished, but the choice of colours was hers, and the bright banners of green and orange revealed a character searching for its own identity.
Soft lamplight lit on a velvety orange sofa, splashing the rather austere stereo unit with warmth. Cassandra dropped her bag on to the couch, kicked off her shoes, and removed her coat before padding through to the small but stylish kitchen. She depressed the switch on the stereo unit as she passed, releasing the strains of John Lennon’s music into the apartment, and determinedly hummed to herself as she extracted her frozen dinner from the fridge. It would be foolish if she allowed thoughts of Jay Ravek to ruin what was left of the evening, she thought, putting the meal into the microwave oven to defrost before cooking. After all, her abstraction over him should warn her that he could be dangerous to her new-found peace of mind, and perhaps her first affair should be with someone who did not stir her emotions so deeply.
The telephone rang as she was making coffee, and leaving the pot percolating, she went to answer it. It was her mother-in-law, and Cassandra relaxed, perching on the arm of the sofa, and cradling the receiver against her ear.
�You’re late, darling.’ Mrs Roland’s voice was warm with affection. �I called about half an hour ago, but you were still not home.’
�I’ve been doing accounts,’ remarked Cassandra drily, and heard her mother-in-law’s sigh of understanding. �We really will have to employ an accountant soon. Even with a calculator, my arithmetic isn’t up to all the book-keeping we have to do.’
�How about Paul Ludlum?’ suggested Mrs Roland at once. �His father was Henry’s accountant for years, and from what I hear, Paul has an excellent reputation. I could speak to him, if you like. Explain the situation. I’m sure he’s just the man you need.’
�It sounds interesting,’ agreed Cassandra cautiously. �And it would take a load off my shoulders.’ She paused. �If we can afford it.’
�Of course you can afford it, Cass.’ Mrs Roland was adamant. �You know how well the business is doing. I have every confidence in you.’
�Well—thanks.’ Cassandra felt a glow of warmth inside. �You know, I’d never have had the nerve to do this without you.’
Mrs Roland chuckled. �It’s nice of you to say so, darling, but I don’t believe it. You’d have made it, sooner or later. Give yourself the credit, not me.’
�Well, anyway—–’ Cassandra let the sentence speak for itself, �I’m about to pour myself a cup of coffee. Would you like one?’
�Oh, darling, I can’t.’ Mrs Roland was apologetic. �I’m just on my way out actually. You know—it’s my bridge evening.’ And as Cassandra acknowledged this with a rueful exclamation, she went on: �I only rang to let you know I took a phone call for you earlier.’
�A phone call? For me?’ Cassandra felt the first twinges of alarm. �Who was it? And how did you happen to get the call?’
�It was a Mr—Ravek,’ declared her mother-in-law, after a moment’s hesitation. �A client, I suppose. He’d found my telephone number in the book under this address, and I assume he expected it was yours. Do you know him?’
�I’ve—met him.’ Cassandra’s sense of apprehension was fast giving way to a state of nervous excitement. �Did—er—did he say what he wanted?’
�Well, he wanted to speak to you, of course,’ replied Mrs Roland at once. �You sound—strange, Cass. Who is he? A boy-friend?’
�No!’ Cassandra’s response was vehement. �I—hardly know him.’ She paused. �Did he mention why he wanted to speak to me?’
�No.’ Her mother-in-law considered for a moment. �He asked if you were available, and I explained that I was the wrong Mrs Roland, and he rang off.’
�Oh, I see.’ Cassandra could hardly keep the disappointment out of her voice. Obviously he had discovered that there was a Mrs Roland listed as living in the building, and assumed it was her. When her mother-in-law explained his mistake, no doubt he had then presumed that she lived with her husband. And as she had only occupied this flat for a little over six months, her number was not in the book. But why had he rung her anyway? And why not at the office? The possibilities were endless, and none of them gave her any satisfaction right now.
�I told him I’d give you the message,’ Mrs Roland was saying now, and Cassandra started: �What message?’
�That he’d rung, of course,’ replied her mother-in-law patiently. �Cass, is there something wrong? This man’s not been bothering you, has he?’
�Heavens, no!’ Cassandra’s laughter was slightly hysterical. �As I told you, I hardly know him. Er—Liz introduced us, today, at the Stafford reception. You remember—I told you I was going with her.’
�I see.’ Mrs Roland sounded intrigued now. �So who is he? The name sounds foreign.’
�Well, I don’t think he is.’ Cassandra felt a sense of relief at being able to talk about him. �He’s a journalist, so Liz says. For the Post.’
�Ravek? Ravek?’ Mrs Roland said the name over. �You know, now I come to think of it, the name does sound vaguely familiar. Ravek!’ She said it again. �Yes, I have it. It’s Jay Ravek, isn’t it?’
�He’s that well known, hmm?’ remarked Cassandra cynically, remembering Liz’s condemnation, but her mother-in-law gave an impatient exclamation.
�No. No, you misunderstand me. I recall reading something about his mother, when she married Sir Giles Fielding—you know, the M.P. He was a barrister before he became interested in politics, and I believe I was introduced to him once at some dinner Henry and I attended. Anyway,’ she uttered an apologetic chuckle, �I’m digressing. What I really wanted to say was that his mother is Russian, her parents’ name was Ravekov, and they were émigrés at the end of the last war.’
Cassandra frowned. �But—if his father’s name is Fielding—–’
�It’s not.’ Mrs Roland sighed. �That’s why I remember it. Her son was born long before she became Lady Fielding.’
�I see.’ Cassandra drew her lower lip between her teeth.
�I haven’t trodden on any toes, have I, Cass?’ Her mother-in-law sounded concerned. �Darling, you mustn’t mind my gossiping. I’m sure he’s a very nice man.’
�Liz doesn’t think so,’ said Cassandra flatly. �She said he was a bastard, and somehow I don’t think she meant what you did.’
Mrs Roland clicked her tongue. �I should hope not! One can hardly blame him for his parents’ behaviour.’
�No.’ Cassandra felt irritated suddenly. �Well, he probably had a commission he wanted to discuss. If he needs to get in touch with me, he can easily do so at the office.’
�Yes . . .’ Mrs Roland was thoughtful. �If you say so, dear.’
�I do.’ Cassandra was eager now to put down the phone. �Have a nice evening, and I’ll probably see you tomorrow.’
�Very well, Cass. Goodnight.’
�Goodnight.’
With the telephone receiver restored to its rest, Cassandra lifted her head and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror above the sideboard. She observed with some impatience that she had a smudge of ink on her chin, the result no doubt of supporting her head with the same hand that held her pen, and she rubbed at it absently as she contemplated what she had just learned. Why was Jay Ravek ringing her? What possible reason could he have? And why did it fill her with a sense of apprehension, when she had thought of him constantly since leaving the reception?
She sighed. It wasn’t as if she was a raving beauty or anything. She was reasonably tall and slim, and she had lost that angular thinness she had had while Mike was alive, but she was quite ordinary otherwise. She had naturally ash blonde hair, which was always an advantage, but she wore it short, a common enough style nowadays. She had nice skin, the kind that tanned in spite of her blonde hair, but her features were unremarkably regular, and only her eyes attracted any attention. They were large and green, with curling lashes that she darkened, but Mike used to say even they were deceptive. He said they promised so much, but offered so little, and she had never been able to understand why he had married her in the first place. He had had so many girls chasing him in his role as a racing driver, and during their more bitter arguments he had always thrown this up at her.
But that still didn’t explain why Jay Ravek wanted to speak to her. It was flattering, of course, and she would not have been human if she had not been curious, but her common sense told her that it might be simpler not to get involved, and perhaps her mother-in-law taking the call was just a blessing in disguise.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_61ffece3-e224-544c-b847-f81383588e72)
WITH the help of a capsule, Cassandra slept reasonably well, and awakened next morning feeling only mildly lethargic. It was months since she had felt the need for any assistance to sleep, and she had almost forgotten the heady feeling that lingered and the horrible taste in her mouth.
Needing to dispel that sense of inertia, she took a bath before breakfast, and then read the daily paper over her coffee. She was determined not to let thoughts of Jay Ravek disrupt her day as they had disrupted her night, but the latest wave of industrial troubles held little attraction.
Yet the night before she had spent far too much time wondering what his reasons for ringing her had been. After her moments of introspection, she had trudged back into the kitchen, and switched off the percolator without even pouring herself a cup of coffee. She had remained bemused, both by the evidence of the phone call and by what her mother-in-law had told her, and that was why she had taken one of the sleeping capsules the doctor had prescribed for her just after Mike had met his fatal accident. She had needed to sleep, to be alert to face the day—and it was annoying to discover that with consciousness came awareness, and the troubled conviction that Jay Ravek was not going to be that easy to dismiss.
She had an appointment that morning with the manager of a textile warehouse, and when she left the flat soon after nine o’clock, she drove straight to the address in north London. She usually chose the cloth the contractors were to use herself, and she always felt a thrill of excitement as she walked along the rows of bales, fingering their fine texture and admiring the variety of colours. There were so many shades, and such intriguing names for the different colours – oyster satin, damask in a delicious shade of avocado, cream brocade and bronze velvet. There were patterned cottons and rich cretonne, chintz and tufted fabrics, and lengths of chiffon and soft wild silk. Cassandra gained a great deal of satisfaction from choosing the materials, her decision was important, and the exhilaration she obtained more than made up for the long hours of hard work spent at her drawing board.
She and Gil Benedict spent over an hour discussing her requirements and the availability of the order, then she got back into the Alfasud and drove to Chandler Mews.
�Any calls?’ she asked casually of Chris, as she shed the jacket of her fringed suede suit, and he lifted his head from the supporting prop of his knuckles and regarded her consideringly.
�One or two,’ he conceded, reaching for the inevitable packet of cigarettes, and Cassandra’s nerves tightened. �Holbrook rang to say he can’t get those rails for the radiators until next week, and there’s been a tentative enquiry from a Mrs Vance, who’s apparently seen the Maxwells’ flat and would like to discuss us doing something similar for her.’
�Oh.’ Cassandra hid her unwelcome sense of disappointment. �Is that all?’
�Who were you expecting?’ Chris was laconic. �Oh, yes, a man did phone.’ He paused as Cassandra’s heart accelerated. �He said his name was—Ludlum, is that right? Something to do with your mother-in-law, I think.’
�Paul Ludlum, yes.’ Cassandra’s voice was breathy as she sought escape from her foolish thoughts. She crossed the room, and picking up the electric kettle, weighed its contents before plugging it in. �He’s an accountant friend of hers, or rather his father was. She thinks we should have some professional help in that direction.’
�I agree.’ Chris lit his cigarette and lay back wearily in his chair. �God, I’m bushed! Rocky cried on and off all night, and June said it was my turn to keep him quiet.’
Pushing aside her problems, Cassandra managed to smile. �Don’t call him Rocky!’ she exclaimed. �His name’s Peter. You know June hates you to make fun of him.’
Chris grimaced. �He still looks like a horror to me,’ he remarked, drawing the nicotine gratefully into his lungs, and Cassandra shook her head as she turned to spoon instant coffee into the cups.
Chris and June had only been married a little over a year, and baby Peter, the main reason for their nuptials, Chris maintained, was now almost six months old. It was typical of Chris that he should choose a nickname for his son, derived from the Rocky Horror Show, but Cassandra was very much afraid that June found this no less unacceptable than Chris’s previous decision to give up his well-paid job in the art department of a London television studios to go into partnership with her. Cassandra knew she could never have approached him. She would never have dreamed of asking him to give up so much on the strength of so little. But when Mike was killed and Chris heard the news, he contacted her himself and set up a meeting. It was the start of many such meetings, encouraged by Mrs Roland, and now, nine months later, their business was established and beginning to make the headway Liz had predicted.
Thinking of Liz, Cassandra realised she ought to give her a ring and thank her for lunch the previous day. Liz’s work, on a famous women’s magazine, entailed many such lunches, but for Cassandra it had been a less familiar experience. Lunches generally were spent at her desk, with a sandwich from the local delicatessen, and the chance to open the windows in Chris’s absence, and get rid of a little of the smoke haze. Chris usually went to the pub round the corner, eating his sandwiches with a pint and exchanging news with the staff from the hospital across the street. It was a popular meeting place, but although she was often invited to join him, Cassandra preferred to keep their association on a business footing.
As usual, Chris left the office at about a quarter to one, but after he had gone Cassandra felt curiously restless. Somehow the idea of sitting here enjoying a solitary sandwich had no appeal, and on impulse she got up from her chair and went to put on her jacket. It was a cold day, but sunny, and she decided to take a cab to Fetter Lane and surprise Liz. If she was free, they might have lunch together. If not, at least it would give her a break.
A car drove into the mews as she was descending the iron staircase, her heels clattering on the hollow slats. It was a dark green car, low and powerful-looking, and as she halted uncertainly, a man thrust open the door and climbed out.
It was Jay Ravek. There was no mistaking his lean indolent grace, or the silky hair that persisted in falling over his forehead. In a pair of dark pants and a corded jacket, his dark silk shirt opened at the neck in spite of the cold, he exhibited all the magnetism and sexuality she remembered, and just looking at him, she could feel every inch of her skin tingling.
He stood after closing the car door, inspecting his surroundings, and Cassandra guessed he was looking for her office. For an anxious moment she didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t seen her, that much was obvious, and she knew a ridiculous impulse to rush back up the steps and lock the door, before he noticed her. But that would have been silly and childish, and besides, she was taking it for granted he was coming to see her. He might not be, and in any case she was on her way out. Even so, it took a certain amount of courage to continue on down the steps as if she hadn’t recognised him, when every step she took seemed to echo horribly in the quiet mews.
He heard her at once, and the dark eyes she remembered so well fastened on her slender figure, his mouth curving into a wry smile as he came towards her.
�Mrs Roland,’ he acknowledged her easily, as she reached the cobbled yard. �This is a coincidence. I was just coming to see you.’
�You were?’ Cassandra assumed a cool smile of enquiry.
�Yes.’ He inclined his head. Even in her heeled boots he was taller than she was, and it gave him a slight advantage. �Didn’t your mother-in-law tell you? I tried to phone you last night.’
Cassandra thought quickly. �It—er—it’s Mr Ravek, isn’t it?’ she exclaimed, ignoring his mildly incredulous intake of breath. �Why, yes. Yes, Thea did say something about a call.’
Jay Ravek’s eyes revealed his scepticism. Looking into their definitely mocking depths, Cassandra was left in no doubt as to his disbelief in the part she was playing, and remembering how his name had slipped out the day before, perhaps he could not be blamed for that.
Wanting—needing—to restore her credibility, Cassandra hastened on: �I was just going to lunch, but if there’s anything we can do for you, perhaps you could come back—–’
�I was hoping to persuade you to have lunch with me,’ he interrupted her smoothly, and the frankness of his approach left her briefly speechless.
�You—were hoping—–’ she got out, when she was able to drag sufficient air into her lungs, and once again he took the initiative.
�Yes.’ He glanced round at his car. �I was reliably informed that you didn’t usually go out for lunch, but it seems my informant was mistaken.’
The hooded dark eyes were on her again, mildly amused now but interrogative, mocking her belief that she could handle any situation. She felt he could see right through her, and through any little ploy that she might use. He was not like Mike. He was not like any man she had known before. He was a totally new experience.
�Was he?’ he asked at last.
�Was he—what?’ She felt disorientated.
�Was my informant wrong? Do you normally go out to lunch?’
Cassandra took a deep breath. �Why did you ring me, Mr Ravek? What do you really want?’
�You,’ he declared, without scruple, and as her eyes widened with incredulity, he added: �But first I must apologise if I’ve caused you any embarrassment. I had no idea you and your mother-in-law lived in the same building.’
She gazed at him. �I don’t see the relevance.’
�Don’t you?’ He shrugged. �No, well, perhaps not. You are in business, after all. You must get a lot of calls.’
She drew a deep breath. �Is this business, Mr Ravek?’
His mouth turned down. �I think you know better than that.’
Cassandra gasped. �Are you always so direct?’
�Would you prefer a different kind of approach?’
She shook her head. �It’s not something I’m familiar with,’ she said blankly. �Mr Ravek—–’
�Jay,’ he corrected her briefly. Then: �Look, it’s too cold to talk here. Do you have an appointment, or will you let me buy you lunch?’
Cassandra shivered, suddenly becoming aware of her surroundings again. �I don’t think—–’
�Why not?’ His lean face revealed a trace of irritation. �You know you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the press.’
�I don’t.’ That much was true. But Liz had been so vehement. �I just—–’
�What harm can eating lunch with me do?’ he interposed swiftly. �I don’t bite, and I do know my table manners!’
Cassandra half smiled. �I’m sure you do.’
�Is that a grudging acceptance?’
She made a decision. �All right.’
�Good.’ He gestured towards his car. �Shall we go?’
Her determination wavered. Her impulsive consent to eat with him had not taken into account the method of getting to a restaurant, and somehow his car seemed such an intimate form of transport after what he had said. After all, what did she know about this man? Nothing that was good, certainly.
He seemed to sense her uncertainty, however, and his expression twisted into an ironic smile. �You can trust me,’ he said flatly. �I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. Now, can we get moving?’
Cassandra gave in, and at her nod of acquiescence, Jay Ravek swung open the nearside door of the vehicle and waited while she got inside. His own entry was accomplished with the ease of long practice, and after settling his length behind the wheel, he started the engine.
As they turned out of the mews, Cassandra spared a thought for Chris, realising she should have left him a message telling him where she was going. But to suggest doing so now would smack of over-caution, and she could well imagine Jay Ravek’s interpretation of her leaving some explanatory note.
The car was soon bogged down in the lunchtime snarlups, and feeling the need to clarify her position, Cassandra endeavoured to make light conversation. What he had said earlier, about his reasons for ringing her, didn’t seem credible somehow, and linking her hands together in her lap, she introduced the usual topics of weather and traffic.
His responses were monosyllabic as he concentrated on negotiating the busy streets, but once they had a clear stretch of road, he cast a lazy glance in her direction.
�You knew I’d ring, didn’t you?’ he remarked, disturbing her anew. �What did your mother-in-law tell you?’
Cassandra bent her head. �Oh, only that you’d rung. As you said, she thought you were a client. Only most people ring the studio.’
�Most men?’
Cassandra looked up indignantly. �Most clients,’ she corrected him shortly, and Jay inclined his head.
�But you did know?’
Cassandra schooled her features. �How could I?’
�I don’t believe you’re that naïve,’ he responded, his voice low and disruptive. �But—–’ he shrugged, �we’ll play it your way, if it suits you.’
Cassandra didn’t know how to answer him, so she didn’t try. Instead, she tried to guess where he was taking her, and what she was going to tell Chris when she got back.
Jay eventually turned the powerful sports car into the car park of a hotel north of Willesden. It was not a hotel Cassandra was familiar with, but judging by the number of cars in the parking area, it was a popular eating place.
A cocktail bar gave on to a small dining room, and mentioning that they could get a drink at their table, Jay preceded Cassandra into the restaurant. They were shown to a table at the far side of the room, overlooking the sunken garden at the back of the hotel, where wilting plants surrounded a murky rock pool.
A waiter provided menus, and Jay asked Cassandra what she would like to drink.
�Oh, just a dry Martini, please,’ she answered politely, and he ordered a gin and tonic for himself before allowing the waiter to depart.
�So,’ he said, when they were alone, �do you feel happier now?’
Cassandra fingered the red napkin in front of her. �I don’t know this place,’ she replied, without answering him. �Do you come here often?’
Jay lay back in his chair, regarding her with sardonic eyes. �I guess Liz Lester has been talking,’ he remarked. �What did she tell you?’
�Not a lot.’ Cassandra kept her tone light, and forced herself to look at the menu. �What do you recommend? I rather fancy scampi. How about you?’
�Food’s not a fetish with me,’ he responded easily, putting his menu aside. �So long as it’s reasonably cooked, a steak will do fine.’
Cassandra nodded, glad of the diversion from more personal matters. �Yes,’ she said, �I like steak, too. But I think I’ll stick to the fish. It sounds delicious.’
�Good.’
His acquiescence was indifferent and she was glad when the waiter brought their drinks, and she was able to use her glass as a barrier between them. His eyes were too penetrating, his perception too shrewd; and she looked at the other diners in an effort to avoid looking at him, in case he could read her thoughts as well.
�I suppose you do a lot of entertaining,’ he remarked at last, his voice lower, more persuasive. �In the course of your—work, naturally.’
Cassandra turned her lovely eyes in his direction. She had the distinct suspicion there was an insult there somewhere, but for the life of her she couldn’t understand why he should be baiting her in this way.
�I—we—do entertain, occasionally,’ she agreed, shaking her head when he offered her another drink. �But the company is very small yet. We don’t have an unlimited expense account.’
�No.’ He rested his arms on the table, cradling his glass between his palms. �And there’s just the two of you—you and this young man, Chris Allen?’
�Yes.’
The waiter came to take their order, and after he was gone again, Jay continued his catechism: �Have you known him long? Allen, I mean?’
Cassandra shrugged. �About seven years, I suppose. I knew him before—before I was married.’
�Ah—–’ Jay absorbed this with a curious expression. �Perhaps you should have married him. You might have been—happier.’
She held up her head. �Maybe,’ she responded, her tone a little chilly now, and as if realising she was beginning to resent his interrogation, Jay smiled.
�I guess you’re wondering why you agreed to have lunch with such an ignorant swine, aren’t you?’ he suggested ruefully. �Forgive me, but—–’ he paused, �perhaps I’m not used to such sensitive companionship.’
Cassandra hesitated. �I should have thought that was patently untrue,’ she declared steadily, and his lean mouth took on a humorous twist.
�So I was right—Liz has been talking. Am I allowed to say anything in my own defence?’
She sighed, putting down her glass, not quite sure whether to take him seriously or not. �You don’t have to defend yourself to me, Mr Ravek,’ she stated carefully. �The way you conduct your affairs is no concern of mine.’
It sounded abominably smug, but he seemed not to take offence, and the arrival of the waiter with their soup prevented any further intimate conversation. Much to her relief, the next twenty minutes were taken up in this way and Cassandra was free to concentrate on the meal and evade any further searching questions. But, inevitably, after she had refused a dessert, coffee was served, and gaining her permission to light a long, narrow cheroot, Jay resumed his cross-examination.
�Suppose,’ he said, attracting her unwilling attention, �suppose I wanted to make it your concern; the way I conduct my affairs, I mean.’ His eyes narrowed, dark and sensual between the thick lashes. �Does it matter to you how many women there’ve been in my life?’
�I—why—–’ Cassandra controlled her colour with the greatest difficulty. �Mr Ravek—–’
�Jay!’
�—are you trying to insult me?’
�No.’ He rested his elbows on the table. �Why should you think that?’
Cassandra moistened her lips. �Perhaps I’m out of touch—–’
�But not out of reach?’
�Mr Ravek—–’
�Mrs Roland?’ His eyes were mocking her now. �You’re an intriguing lady. I can’t make up my mind whether you want to go to bed with me or not, and if the answer is no, what the hell am I doing here?’
Cassandra remained in her seat mainly because she doubted her legs would carry her across the room. But her face was red with embarrassment now, and anger at his outrageous statement far outweighed the attraction she had felt towards him.
�Do you only take a female out to lunch if you think she wants to go to bed with you?’ she demanded, in a low angry voice, and his mocking smile briefly lit the dark contours of his face.
�In these circumstances, is it so surprising?’ he countered, drawing on his cheroot. �Don’t look so shocked, Mrs Roland. It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?’
Cassandra could only assume the worst. Obviously, he believed she had been warned about him, but had chosen to ignore the warning; and in essence it was true. But she had not truly taken everything Liz had told her as gospel, and in consequence, she was left to face this humiliating confrontation unprepared.
�I think I’d like to leave now, Mr Ravek,’ she declared stiffly, glancing round, as if she hoped some stalwart knight in shining armour might come and rescue her. �You’ve had your fun. Could you please ask the waiter to call a taxi for me.’
�That won’t be necessary.’ With an abrupt movement, he thrust back his chair and got to his feet.
His action brought the waiter to his side, and while he was attending to the bill, Cassandra took the opportunity to escape. She had no desire to drive back to the office with him, but when he emerged from the building, he found her thwarted, on the car park.
�I’d prefer to take a cab,’ she declared, when he appeared, but Jay only moved his shoulders in an indifferent gesture.
�But as you can see, there aren’t any,’ he observed, his dark gaze sweeping the car park. �Come on, I’ll take you back. You can warm your cold feet in the Ferrari.’
Cassandra’s blood boiled. �You’re despicable!’
�Yes, so I’ve been told,’ he agreed, without rancour. �Now, stop looking so outraged, and get in the car. Believe me, my ardour has been satisfactorily doused.’
If she hadn’t felt so furious with him, Cassandra knew she could have seen the funny side of this. The trouble was, in spite of everything, he was still the most disturbing man she had ever met, and if he had not made her feel so insignificant, she might well have given into his sensual attraction.
To her relief, Chris had not returned when she got back to the office, and glancing at her watch she was amazed to discover it was only a little over an hour since she had left. Somehow it had seemed so much longer than that, and her face was still burning as she seated herself at her desk.
Jay had not spoken on the journey back to the studio, and after depositing her in Chandler Mews, he had driven away without a backward glance. She wondered what he was thinking, what interpretation he had put on her behaviour, and wished she understood herself what it was she really wanted.
By the time Chris came back, she had herself reasonably in control, but the bright flags of colour in her cheeks attracted his attention.
�You look busy,’ he remarked, no doubt imagining the heat she was displaying was due to honest toil. �Didn’t you go and get a sandwich? Don’t start missing meals. You’re just beginning to lose that lean and hungry look.’
�Well, thanks!’ Cassandra tried to adopt a humorous tone. �I’ll bear that in mind when I’m tipping the scales.’
�There’s no fear of you doing that,’ he retorted, lighting the inevitable cigarette. But then, with unexpected perception, he added: �You haven’t been having a fight with somebody, have you? You look a bit hot and bothered.’
�I forgot to open the windows,’ replied Cassandra, hiding behind the hornrims of her spectacles. �Did you have a pleasant time at the Black Swan? I don’t know how you can eat pies every day of the week.’
�Oh, I vary them with sandwiches,’ Chris answered airily, taking his seat and picking up his pencil. �And if you’d ever tasted June’s cooking, I guarantee you’d welcome the change.’
Cassandra’s laughter was not forced. �You exaggerate,’ she exclaimed. �Nowadays, anybody can learn to defrost a beefburger or put a tray of chips in the oven.’
�Want to bet?’ Chris grinned across at her. �So—why don’t you invite me round to your flat and show me how a proper meal should taste?’
Cassandra looked at him for a moment, then shook her head, bending over her desk. �You’d better finish off that layout for the kitchen,’ she said, avoiding any further complications. �I want to drive down to the house tomorrow afternoon, and I’d like to take the designs with me.’
�Okay.’
Chris shrugged, taking his dismissal without rancour. They had had many such exchanges since they began to work together, and so far Cassandra had found no difficulty in keeping their relationship on an impersonal basis. But she couldn’t help wondering how he would react if she told him what Jay Ravek had said to her, and while the inclination to avail herself of his sympathy was attractive, she knew she could be inviting a far more explosive situation.
The telephone rang in the middle of the afternoon and she let Chris answer it, stiffening when he held the receiver out to her. �That man,’ he mouthed, frowning at her look of consternation. �You know—the accountant I told you rang this morning.’
�Oh!’ Cassandra’s sigh of relief aroused a look of curiosity in Chris’s eyes, but he said nothing, just handed over the receiver, and resumed his calculations as she spoke into the mouthpiece.
�Mrs Roland?’ Paul Ludlum’s voice was young and attractive. �I hope I’m not ringing at an awkward time, but I did ring you earlier.’
�I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call.’ Cassandra was contrite. �I—er—it’s been quite a hectic day.’
She made a face at Chris’s disbelievingly raised eyebrows, and listened with assumed concentration to what the accountant had to say. Obviously, the fact that his father and Mike’s had been friends gave a certain partiality to his tone, and in spite of her misgivings, he seemed to think she could well afford professional advice.
�I’d like to call and look over your books,’ he ventured at last. �When would that be convenient? I don’t want to interfere with your working schedules.’
�Oh—–’ Cassandra shrugged her shoulders, and put her hand over the mouthpiece so that she could speak privately to Chris. �He wants to come and look at the books,’ she said, looking anxious. �Do you really think it’s a good idea?’
�Sure,’ Chris nodded. �Tell him to come tomorrow, while you’re down at Windsor. I guess I could manage to show him round.’
Cassandra nodded. �Oh, good.’ She removed her hand, and spoke to Paul Ludlum again. �Would tomorrow morning be all right?’
�Tomorrow morning? Yes, I think I could manage that. Around eleven?’
�Around eleven,’ Cassandra repeated in agreement, then rang off before she could change her mind.
�What’s your problem?’ Chris demanded, as she chewed unhappily on the end of her pencil. �We’re going to need an accountant, Cass. You can’t keep on burning the candle at both ends.’
�Hardly that,’ she grimaced.
�No. But you do work in the evenings, when you should be out enjoying yourself.’
�Oh, yes?’ Cassandra was sardonic. �Chris, I don’t honestly think I was cut out for enjoying myself.’
�What rubbish!’ Chris was impatient. �Look, just because Mike made your life a misery—–’
�Let’s not talk about that, Chris.’
Cassandra interrupted him, but Chris was determined to be heard. �Why not?’ he demanded. �I know he’s dead, and you don’t want to say bad things about him, but let’s face it—he wasn’t the man to make you happy.’
Cassandra went to plug in the kettle. �Maybe it was my fault,’ she mumbled, her back to him, smarting from the remembrance of her lunch with Jay Ravek. �Maybe I don’t—well—–’
�Well—what?’
�I don’t know.’ She sighed. �Maybe I attract the wrong kind of men.’
�What—–’ muttered Chris, swearing under his breath, but Cassandra heard him and shook her head.
�I mean it. Perhaps the kind of man I really need isn’t attracted to me.’
�Oh, Cass—–’
�Well, why not?’ She grimaced. �I guess I give the wrong impression. Mike used to say that.’
Chris raised his eyes heavenward. �Cass, you’re a sexy lady—–’
�I may look that way, but I’m not,’ declared Cassandra firmly, her lips twitching a little at the incongruity of this conversation. �Honestly, Chris, I don’t think I’m cut out for—well, for that kind of a relationship. I thought I was—but I was wrong.’
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_34f347a5-f6bb-5e55-9845-c82dfcb4bfbe)
TWO days later the weather changed. It had been cold and damp, but not frosty, however, when Cassandra awakened on Friday morning, it was to find the roofs of the flats opposite were white with snow. It was very picturesque, if less so in the street below. The movement of cars and milk-floats, and the constant tramp of feet, had left a slushy mess that was anything but attractive, and she turned away from the window, wishing it was Saturday.
It had seemed an unusually long week, and she could only put it down to the poor nights she was having. Since Wednesday, and her abortive outing with Jay Ravek, she had been unable to relax, and she had been looking forward to the weekend and the chance to get out of London.
She was hoping to go up to Derbyshire, to stay with some friends of Mike’s, but the forecast was not encouraging. There had been heavy falls of snow outside the London area and Derbyshire had been mentioned, so she prepared her breakfast resignedly, realising her trip might well have to be cancelled.
Her doorbell rang as she was eating a slice of toast, and going to answer it she found Mike’s mother on the threshold. An attractive woman in her late forties, Thea Roland kissed her daughter-in-law warmly, and at her invitation entered the flat, accepting the offer of a cup of coffee.
�I came to see whether you’re still planning to drive up to Matlock, darling,’ she said, draping herself elegantly over the arm of the sofa. �Have you heard the weather forecast? It’s not good.’
�I know.’ Cassandra poured her mother-in-law’s coffee. �I was just wondering what I should do.’
�Don’t go,’ declared Mrs Roland at once, accepting the cup Cassandra proffered. �Darling, it would be madness to drive all that way! Besides, with the roads so bad, it wouldn’t be worth it. You’d hardly get there before you had to come home.’
�Yes.’ Cassandra bit her lip indecisively. �And I was so hoping to get away.’
�Were you?’ Mrs Roland regarded her speculatively for a moment. �I thought you were looking a little tense last evening. Is anything wrong? Paul didn’t turn his thumbs down or anything, did he?’
�Paul? Oh, you mean the accountant.’ Cassandra shook her head. �No. No, actually, he was rather optimistic.’
�I told you so!’ Mrs Roland looked delighted. �What did you think of him? I meant to ask you.’
�Well, I didn’t meet him, as it happens,’ Cassandra sighed. �I had to go to Windsor. Chris handled it.’
�Did he? What a shame!’ Mrs Roland’s eyes twinkled. �I rather hoped you’d approve of that young man.’
Cassandra gave a rueful smile. �Oh, Thea! Not matchmaking again!’
�Why not?’ Thea Roland was unabashed. �Darling, you’re so young. You mustn’t let Mike’s death influence you. You have plenty of time to marry again, and give me some grandchildren. Oh, yes,’ this as Cassandra would have interrupted her, �I shall consider your children my grandchildren. Just as I consider you the daughter I never had.’
Cassandra bent to hug the older woman. �Thea, that’s very sweet of you, but—–’
�I know. You don’t want to get married again.’
�Right.’
�You will.’ Thea sounded confident. �Oh, and by the way, did you ever get in touch with that man who rang on Tuesday evening? You remember—Jay Ravek?’
Cassandra took a deep breath. �He—as a matter of fact he came to the studio on Wednesday.’
�Did he?’ Thea looked intrigued.
�Yes.’ Cassandra spoke offhandedly. �Unfortunately I—we were unable to help him.’
�What a pity!’ Thea was irrepressible. �He sounded nice. Even if he does have quite a reputation.’
Cassandra turned away to clear the table of her dirty cup and plate. �Well, I don’t want to rush you, Thea, but—–’
�I know—you have to go.’ Thea got up obediently, and carried her cup through to the tiny kitchen. �But you will reconsider going to Derbyshire, won’t you, Cass? I shall worry terribly if you insist on taking the car.’
Cassandra hugged her again. �I promise I’ll give the matter careful consideration,’ she said. �I suppose I could always use the train.’
�You could go next weekend,’ Thea declared, walking towards the door. �But anyway, I’ll probably see you this evening. You can tell me your decision then.’
�I will.’
Cassandra accompanied her to the door, and after she had gone, she ran a hasty comb through her hair and checked her make-up. Did she look pale? Did her disturbed nights show? She hated the idea that Jay Ravek could affect her in this way, when obviously she had no such reaction on him.
Liz rang in the middle of the morning, and Cassandra, apologising for not having rung her, wondered what Liz would say if she told her of that disastrous lunch with Jay Ravek. Of course, Liz would only say �I told you so’, but somehow, in spite of his insolence, Cassandra knew a curious reluctance to discuss Jay with her friend.
�I’m calling to see if you’d like to come to a party this evening,’ Liz went on, after the preliminaries were over. �I know you said you were going up to Matlock this weekend, but what with the snow and so on, I thought you might be staying at home.’
�I am considering it,’ Cassandra admitted, glancing towards the windows, where a swirling snowstorm was whitening the panes.
�I thought it was possible,’ Liz agreed. �I guessed you wouldn’t want to come if you were planning to leave early tomorrow morning, but if you’re not . . .’
�Where is the party?’ Cassandra was hesitant. �Who’s giving it?’
�I am,’ Liz retorted with a laugh. �Everyone seems to be staying in town this weekend, and I thought it was a good idea.’
�Hmm.’ Cassandra was doubtful. Right now, the idea of going to one of Liz’s parties and meeting some of the bright young men she usually had in tow was not appealing. She had had enough of men for the time being, but she could hardly say that to Liz without running into awkward explanations. Besides, perhaps some innocuous company was exactly what she needed to restore her confidence.
�Come on, Cass.’ Liz was persuasive. �Isn’t your mother-in-law always telling you you should get out more?’
�Yes,’ Cassandra sighed. �All right. Why not? What time?’
Later that evening, however, preparing to go out to the party, she wished she had not been so malleable. It was a bitterly cold evening, and the snow that had fallen earlier had frozen, making the roads icy and dangerous.
Deciding what to wear was a problem, too. Liz’s parties were always informal, but the girls she invited generally showed up in very sophisticated gear. Cassandra’s casual clothes were not sophisticated, and her eventual choice was a jumpsuit of olive-green velvet, which would help to keep her warm, as well as looking attractive.
Liz’s flat was in Knightsbridge, a rather select area, where the rents were far out of Cassandra’s price range. But Liz had a very good job, as well as having a private income from her parents, and money had never been a problem with her.
The Alfasud’s wheels spun on the slippery road as Cassandra drove across town. Any sudden acceleration caused the tyres to lose purchase, and by the time she reached Carlton Square her arms were aching. There were already a number of cars parked around the snow-covered stretch of turf from which the cul-de-sac got its name, but she managed to squeeze the Alfa between an M.G. and a Mercedes. With a feeling of relief she got out of the car, locked it, and crunched across the frozen ridges of snow to the lighted entrance of Dower Court.
Liz’s flat was on the first floor of the house. Built in Victorian times, Dower Court had once been a family house, but latterly it had been converted into four flats, each occupying one of the three floors and the basement. In consequence, the flats were large and spacious, and throwing a party in the huge living room was no problem at all.
Bettina, Liz’s housemaid, opened the door to her ring, and entering the flat Cassandra was surprised anyone had heard her above the din that was going on. A tape deck was vibrating the ceiling, and the constant sound of voices swelled above the throbbing beat of electric guitars. Cassandra had once asked Liz whether her neighbours didn’t object to the noise, but Liz’s airy retort had been that she invited all the neighbours for that very reason, and in consequence no one could reasonably complain.
Bettina took Cassandra’s coat and handed her a glass of champagne, before leaving her to make her own way into the throng. It was impossible to perform formal introductions when people gathered together in groups, and besides, those nearest the door had turned to see who it was, and Cassandra thankfully recognised a familiar face.
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